My Life - A Perfect Mess

I’ve been blocked on what to write about lately. And then came a moment this week when various data points collided. It was fun for me. My boss is the master of collecting data points and constructing a picture out of them. It’s something I’ve always admired about him and others who are gifted at that. I don’t know that I’ve ever been aware of that sensation – but I was this week as a recurring theme of “perfection” kept popping up in conversation. And it made me think “what is ‘perfect’ anyway?”

Striving for perfection

I’m sure many of you were brought up as I was – be a “perfect little girl (or boy)”… smile, speak when spoken to, don’t talk back, sit up straight, get good grades, go to college, don’t make bad choices. It’s funny though – even if you do all of those things…life is never “perfect.”

There are always ups and downs…challenges, struggles, obstacles that come our way. I had a girlfriend say to me this week, “well, I’m really happy…I mean, it’s not perfect by any means…” So in order to have a perfect life, does it mean that there should be no struggle? Is it smooth sailing all the time? I’ve started running again and I tried to picture what it would be like to run the same flat route over and over again and wondered how interesting would that be to me over time? How effective would it be for keeping my body in shape…because over time, our bodies need new challenges, new resistance, to cause it to get stronger and change. I don’t think it’s that different with our lives. We are who we are because of where we’ve been. The ups and the downs in life are what have caused us to figure out what we believe, make choices about who we are going to be and how we are going to behave and what we are going to do in this life. It’s the “imperfections” of life that cause the resistance and the challenge to make us stronger and to make us better. Not to mention making sure that we don’t get bored.

No one’s perfect

A note came out over Facebook this week and it was a list of questions that you had to answer honestly…I’m not sure why one would lie, but it made me smile that it called out to answer honestly. Anyway, one of the questions was “Has anyone ever told you that you are perfect?” My answer – my husband…perfect for him. Not “perfect” as in “being entirely without fault or defect” as Merriam-Webster defines it. But maybe closer to “perfect” as in the second part of the definition “satisfying all requirements”. Even still, I know that I don’t do that. We all know that people have faults, that lives aren’t always what they seem. Yet – we prefer to believe often that other peoples lives are “more perfect” than our own…and in that, we are somehow even more flawed.

Perfect is as perfect does

One of the other data points that has been floating around in my head is a conversation I had with another girlfriend. (I don’t actually think I get to have that many conversations with my girls…so I guess we get a lot going in a short amount of time J ) We were talking about the stage that our families are at and where we are at individually and she said to me “I’m so blessed, everything right now is just perfect.” This, after hearing about the craziness of running kids here and there, a husband who has to travel a lot, parents who need help and never enough time for one’s self…”everything right now is perfect”. Why? Because she chooses to accept that it doesn’t have to be smooth to be perfect. It doesn’t have to come without challenges to be amazing. That in all of the craziness, and need and lacking…there is an option to accept it and find joy in it and look for the good in all of it. Yogi Berra has a quote, “if the world was perfect, it wouldn’t be”. Her life, without all of the characteristics that make it up, wouldn’t be.

Kelly Clarkson (yes, I am an American Idol groopie) has a song called “Beautiful Disaster”. And I think that’s apropos for my life …a “perfect mess”. Because in the end, we really have only this one life…and perfection I believe is really perspective. If we are able to accept, embrace, the imperfections that life brings our way – and granted, sometimes throws at us like a 90 mph pitch – to catch it as something that will add, define, perhaps change us. That it may not feel comfortable at times, but that maybe that doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing. That with those fast balls or curve balls, “perfect” as the state of unblemished, actually becomes “perfect” as in the state of improving. My life is a perfect mess…and I have to say, I wouldn’t want it any other way.